Tag Archives: Married Life

Forget About the Eggshells – Our Dementia Story

Forget About the Eggshells – Our Dementia Story. In two weeks, my husband Jonathan and I will have been married fifty-two years. Which does not count our half-year courtship before the wedding happened. We met in March and spent the next few months in tentative mode, circling one another from afar. Our dance among the eggshells had begun.

The Tempo was Twitchy-Jittery-Nervous at First. I detected signals of interest from his side of the dance floor and expected an approach at any moment. But Jonathan was shy. Twitchy-jittery-nervous continued long after the band had packed up and gone home. Until my patience wore characteristically thin and I made the first move.

We have Traversed the Dance Catalog Ever Since. Begun and middled and continued with the Back and Forth Two-Step. Leading weight on his foot. Then leading weight on mine. Choreography and competition. Often at the expense of the eggshells scattered beneath our feet. The same way eggshells are scattered beneath every couple I have ever known.

Which Brings Me to the Six Arguments. I have a theory that every long-term relationship features six signature arguments. Three serious and better suited to the boxing ring than the dance floor. Three frivolous but still worthy of a turn among the eggshells.

Specifics Vary from Couple to Couple. Sometimes we strut. Other times we glide in and out of reach. Occasionally we face off like the Cock-A-Doodle-Doos in the picture above. Always engaged between ballet and brawl in a configuration all our own. We will confine serious contention to private dances for now. The three frivolous fights Jonathan and I favor step out as follows.

Full-Moon Minuet. Whatever geography we may currently inhabit, our heckle over the heavens remains the same. He says, “The moon is full tonight.” I look up and respond, “Not quite,” pointing out a flatness at the lower edge. We carry on in that vein, month after month, year after year, even when the sky is mostly overcast. And both of us are relatively right.

Tune-the-TV Tango. The notes of this number shift with every technological advance. Our present debate quick steps each evening. To binge or not to binge? Jonathan’s occasional short-term memory glitch makes complicated narratives a challenge. We make a joke of it and muddle through. Forget About the Eggshells – Our Dementia Story

Time-versus-Distance Drag. Which is a drag because, frivolous or not, this disagreement can take on heat. Something sort of significant is at stake. In New York City, subway options are the issue. Uptown or downtown or crosstown? We each have pet preferences for getting wherever whenever. Out of town, thank heaven for GPS or murderous mayhem might ensue.

We could Easily Settle our Signature Silliness. Check calendar phases of the moon. Google binge and non-binge options before screening. Clock travel times from one subway stop to the next. Phone-map rural routes in advance. We could make smoothness of communication our first priority, as is relentlessly advised for all relationships. Especially relationships like Jonathan’s and mine where eggshells abound because dementia is in the mix.

Simple as That – Decades of Atonal Music would Fall Silent. We’d leave the dance floor. Eggshells everywhere would be safe from our tromping toes. But what would we do then? Simper across a table-width of trumped-up tranquility? Would our rooster reds still reflect a fierce feisty sun – setting though that sun may be? We think not. Forget About the Eggshells – Our Dementia Story.

LESSON LEARNEDHERE COMES THE SUN. Doo doo doo doo. HERE COMES THE STORM. Doo doo doo doo.  IT’S ALL RIGHT.

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You possess storytelling magic. Keep on writing whatever may occur. AliceOrr  https://www.aliceorrbooks.com

Alice Orr is a number of things. Teacher. Storyteller. Former Editor and Literary Agent. Author of 15 novels, 2 novellas, a memoir, and No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript that Sells. She also blogs for writers and readers at https://www.aliceorrbooks.com.

Alice’s Latest NovelA Time of Fear and Loving – is Amanda and Mike’s second dance through eggshells. Every step takes them deeper into danger. Don’t miss the suspense. Don’t deny yourself the romance. Available HERE.

A Time of Fear & Loving

Praise for A Time of Fear & Loving. “I never want an Alice Orr book to end.” “Alice Orr is the queen of ramped-up stakes and page-turning suspense.” “Warning. Don’t read before bed. You won’t want to sleep.” “The tension in this novel is through the roof.”
“A budding romance that sizzles in the background until it ignites with passion.”
“The best one yet, Alice!”

All of Alice’s Books are available HERE .

Ask Alice Your Crucial Questions. What are you most eager to know? About Alice and Jonathan’s experience? About telling your own stories? Ask your questions in the Comments section at the end of this post. Or email Alice at aliceorrbooks@gmail.com. She would love to hear from you.

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