Tag Archives: dementia

Giving Thankfuls – Our Dementia Story

Inspiration, , , ,

Giving Thankfuls – Our Dementia Story. Our Giving Thankfuls tradition was born when the grandchildren were with us every weekend at our yellow house on Vashon Island in Washington State. We have been back on the east coast for well over a decade now, but those memories are still fresh and sweet for Jonathan and me.

We Always Ate Together When the Grands were Visiting. Our rustic dining table was dinged and battered from years of active kid use. The chairs had been rocked back and forth with such vigor so many times that Grandpa Jon finally had to implant bolts to keep them safely intact.

Our Thankfuls Ritual Began with Clasped Hands Before Eating. At our well-used table we reached for one another and took hold. Then, each of us in turn would say what we were thankful for that day. Something that made us feel grateful to be alive or was just fun to do.

The Children Started with Thanks for Being with Us. Jonathan and I started with thanks for being with them and for the joy and chair-rocking energy they added to our lives. We would end with a rousing “Amen.” Our grandson once told me that was like hitting “Send” on a keyboard to broadcast his message.

In this Happy Way Giving Thankfuls Became our Mealtime Thing. The children are not children now. They are well-ensconced in productive adult lives and no longer rock their chairs at dinnertime. Jonathan and I are a twosome most of the time but we have not stopped holding hands and Giving Thankfuls.

We have Lots of Reasons for Giving Thanks. Up front among them are memories like those I share here of our family. And those about blazing forward and loving each other through fifty-two-plus years together. Better. Worse. Richer. Poorer. Sickness. Health. Giving Thankfuls – Our Dementia Story.

We are A Stormy Pair. None who know us well will doubt that. We do not go gentle into much of anything. Sometimes to our credit. Sometimes not. Nonetheless I Give Thankfuls for having grown to be who I am with Jonathan at my side however imperfect we may be.

I Cannot Talk of Thankfulness without Mentioning Grandma. Alice Jane Rowland Boudiette. Everything good in me began with her. She is the reason I put words on pages like I have done here. She told me her stories aloud. I write mine down. The storyteller abides.

Which has Graced Me with the Amazing Company of Other Storytellers. I Give Thankfuls to that company for its generosity and wonderful wit and endless ingenuity. I find role models and helpmates there. Friends too. I cannot imagine another community I would rather inhabit.

Except Our Church Community. The hundred-fifty-year-old parish five blocks from where we live. Jonathan and I will feast there with our faith family on Thanksgiving Eve. Many nationalities. Many languages. All one. As our maker made us to be. We give Thankfuls for that.

Dear Friends. What are Your Thankfuls? Please share them with us in the Comments section following this post. And have a totally joyful Thanksgiving.  P.S. The guy in the above photo is Jonathan. I have no idea why he is peeking into that turkey’s you-know-what. Giving Thankfuls – Our Dementia Story.

LESSON LEARNED – Be Thankful Every Time You Taste the Feast of Life.

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You possess storytelling magic. Keep on writing whatever may occur. Alice Orr.  https://www.aliceorrbooks.com

Alice Orr. Teacher. Storyteller. Former Editor and Literary Agent. Author of 15 novels, 2 novellas, a memoir, and No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript that Sells. Alice blogs for writers and readers at https://www.aliceorrbooks.com.

Alice’s Memoir is titled Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness. At the beating heart of this moving story a woman fights her own disease disaster. All her life she has taken care of herself. Now she faces an adversary too formidable to battle alone. Available HERE.

Praise for Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness: “I was lifted. I highly recommend this book as a can’t-put-down roadmap for anyone.” “Very, very well written. Alice Orr is an amazing author.” “Honest, funny, and consoling.” “I have read other books by Ms. Orr and am glad I haven’t missed this one.” “Couldn’t put it down.”

Alice’s Suspense Novel Series – the Riverton Road Romantic Suspense Series. Five intense stories of love and death and intrigue. Available HERE.

Praise for the Riverton Road Romantic Suspense Series. “Romance and suspense at its best.” “I highly recommend this page-turner series.” “Twists and turns, strong characters, suspense and passionate love.” “The writing is exquisite.”

All of Alice’s Books are available HERE .

Ask Alice Your Crucial Questions. What are you most eager to know? About Alice and Jonathan’s experience? About telling your own stories? Ask your questions in the Comments section following this post.

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There Will Be Miracles – Our Dementia Story

Inspiration, , ,

There Will Be Miracles – Our Dementia Story. We cherish precious moments. Specific flashes of time out of time. These moments feel eternal in the way they abide within us. We know we will remember them forever. When we require their return to our present life we are able to illuminate them with the floodlight of our imaginations. These are our personal miracles.

The Usual Definition of a Miracle. Expansive adjectives most often describe the miraculous. Extraordinary. Amazing. Outstanding. Inexplicable. Improbable. These words lead us to expect earth-shaking events. Burning bushes or parting seas. Let us reconsider these impressions.

In her Memoir Ordinary Times Nancy Mairs Says… “I always expect spiritual insights to shower like coins of light from on high. When instead they bubble up from the mire like will-of-the-wisps, I am invariably startled.”

Spiritual Insights are Glimpses of the Underneath of Life. Illumination of what is usually hidden. Veiled from view by the hustle of our days until we are somehow stopped for an instant of stillness. We may see then what is beneath the surface and truer than surface can ever be.

Such Moments are Miraculous. Imagine a floodlight. Recall when you have experienced an instant of brilliance seemingly out of nowhere. Always a welcome arrival. Urge the wattage of that brilliance to climb higher still. Luxuriate in the warmth of so much brightness. The surprise. The wonder. This has happened to me. There Will Be Miracles – Our Dementia Story.

Each of Us has Deposited these Moments in Our Memory Banks. Smiles that touch our hearts. Flashes of beauty beneath the retina of the inner eye. We can revitalize them in an instant. No intense pondering necessary. I consider this a miracle. A personal miracle accessible to my story and yours. Here is a simple exercise for accessing your personal miracles. I invite you to try it.

Grasp Your Memory Moment in Midair. Cradle it in the palm of your hand. Feel it ripple through your fingers. Follow as it moves up your arm and into your heart. Add to these inner sensations whatever surrounds you at this instant. Sounds. Scents. The touch of the air on your skin.

Revel in Sensual Richness Brought to Life. Drop gently out of the present. Loosen its hold on your spirit until you are fully embraced by your memory moment. Drop gently out of place. Travel wherever the incandescence of your imagination may carry you. Linger. Savor. Enjoy.

You Have Been Transported. Recognize the rapture. Edge aside whatever may attempt to distract you from your peace of mind. Do so gently, in order not to disturb the still place where your psyche allows itself to rest. When you are ready – gradually return to your now. Favor yourself with these interludes often.

Amidst Adversity Miracles Appear. This has been my experience and my blessing. Always unexpected. Often when most needed. A glimpse of light which fortifies and sustains. This exercise nurtures that ray of hope in my consciousness and enhances its glow. I share it with you.

Each of Us is a Repository of the Miraculous. All we need do is activate the amperage of our imaginations and direct that immense power within. The floodlight we each possess reveals our personal re-vision. I know this firsthand. There Will Be Miracles – Our Dementia Story.

LESSON LEARNED – Miracles are With Me Every Moment. Miracles are With You Too.

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You possess storytelling magic. Keep on writing whatever may occur.  Alice Orr. https://www.aliceorrbooks.com

Alice Orr is a number of things. Teacher. Storyteller. Former Editor and Literary Agent. Author of 15 novels, 2 novellas, a memoir, and No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript that Sells. She blogs for writers and readers at https://www.aliceorrbooks.com.

Alice’s Memoir is titled Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness. At the beating heart of this moving story a woman fights her own disease disaster. All her life she has taken care of herself. Now she faces an adversary too formidable to battle alone. An inspiring read available HERE.

Praise for Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness: “I was lifted. I highly recommend this book as a can’t-put-down roadmap for anyone.” “Outstanding read. Very, very well written. Alice Orr is an amazing author.” “Honest, funny, and consoling.” “Ms. Orr is a fine, sensitive author and woman. I have read other books by her and am glad I haven’t missed this one.” “Couldn’t put it down.”

All of Alice’s Books are available HERE .

Ask Alice Your Crucial Questions. What are you most eager to know? About Alice and Jonathan’s experience? About telling your own stories? Ask your questions in the Comments section at the end of this post. Or email Alice at aliceorrbooks@gmail.com. She would love to hear from you.

http://facebook.com/aliceorrwriter/
http://twitter.com/AliceOrrBooks/
http://goodreads.com/aliceorr/
http://pinterest.com/aliceorrwriter/

 

No Secrets Please – Our Dementia Story

Dementia Story, , , , ,

No Secrets Please – Our Dementia Story. My mother was mentally ill. Her dis-ease displayed itself in many ways. Rage and violence at one end of her emotional spectrum. Fear and brooding at the other. Everyone could see her tortured extremes. No one said a word about them.

I Remember our Family Doctor Visiting my Father. Doctor Benny was a man who could be harsh in his pronouncements, but that day he was a gentle mentor. He told my father that my mother needed help and what kind of help that should be. My father flew into one of his own rages and sent Doctor Benny away.

The Family Secret was Saved but My Mother was not. She remained imprisoned in the fearful darkness of her affliction. She remained shut away from possible relief as surely as if she were locked up in a backroom and the key had been thrown away. We remained imprisoned with her – all afflicted by secrets and silence – all denying the truth in front of our eyes..

Openness would have Released Us from Our Prison. Openness would have allowed light into our mutually occupied backroom. Instead, we suffered in the dark, our mouths sealed by shame, our hearts clutched by fear. Secrets held us captive – my mother most mercilessly of all. What a gift it would have been if someone had spoken the truth.

Jonathan and I have Chosen an Open Road. We make no secret of his dementia. Our families know. Our friends know. We know. You know. There are no secrets here. No locked rooms. No silence. No shame or embarrassment or even sheepishness. We have freed ourselves from all of that. Jonathan most fully of all. No Secrets Please – Our Dementia Story.

Not Everyone is Comfortable with Our Openness. When the subject of dementia arises, some people quickly change the subject. They are discomforted. Sometimes they fawn over Jonathan as if he were a wounded bird. Sometimes they turn away. Sometimes they disappear altogether.

Those who Turn Away are Themselves Afflicted. They are afflicted by fear. They are afflicted by the images broadcast on television. Images designed to create a panic and sell outrageously expensive pharmaceuticals. Those who turn away are more comfortable with the secret. We are more comfortable in the light.

I Remember that My Mother Almost Never Smiled. I never saw the smile in the above photo in real life – not that I can recall. I think about how alone and lonely the mother I did see must have been. I remember how alone and lonely we all were. We were isolated in the darkness – the dark backroom closet of our silence and our shame.

The Only Antidote for Darkness is the Light. In light we experience the dawn. In light a smile breaks through our fears. In light shines the love that frees us all. In the light my mother might have embraced the dawn – regained her smile – been at least a bit more free. No Secrets Please – Our Dementia Story.

LESSON LEARNED – LET THERE BE LIGHT.

You possess storytelling magic. Keep on writing whatever may occur. AliceOrr  https://www.aliceorrbooks.com

Alice Orr is a number of things. Teacher. Storyteller. Former Editor and Literary Agent. Author of 15 novels, 2 novellas, a memoir, and No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript that Sells. She also blogs for writers and readers at https://www.aliceorrbooks.com.

Alice’s Memoir is titled Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness. At the beating heart of this moving story a woman fights her own disease disaster. All her life she has taken care of herself. Now she faces an adversary too formidable to battle alone. An inspiring read available HERE.

Praise for Lifted to the Light: A Story of Struggle and Kindness: “I was lifted. I highly recommend this book as a can’t-put-down roadmap for anyone.” “Outstanding read. Very, very well written. Alice Orr is an amazing author.” “Honest, funny, and consoling.” “Ms. Orr is a fine, sensitive author and woman. I have read other books by her and am glad I haven’t missed this one.” “Couldn’t put it down.”

All of Alice’s Books are available HERE .

Ask Alice Your Crucial Questions. What are you most eager to know? About Alice and Jonathan’s experience? About telling your own stories? Ask your questions in the Comments section at the end of this post. Or email Alice at aliceorrbooks@gmail.com. She would love to hear from you.

http://facebook.com/aliceorrwriter/
http://twitter.com/AliceOrrBooks/
http://goodreads.com/aliceorr/
http://pinterest.com/aliceorrwriter/