Dear Tanya. You have commented on my blog posts in the past. I invite you to explore my most recent series. It is titled “Oh No I’m a Caregiver – Dementia – Our Cautionary Story.” These posts are of special significance to me. Dementia appears to be a reality destined to assault all of our lives in one way or another eventually. I believe that the story I have to tell – through my initial post and others yet to come at – has valuable insights to offer. For this reason, I hope you will read it and pass it on to others so that they might benefit from what I am learning and from those insights.

For example… My husband Jonathan, who has recently been diagnosed with dementia, is actually quite fine at this early stage. He is engaged in lots of cognitively powerful activities. He writes original memoir pieces that are very good and says this is the result of sitting in on so many of my writing workshops over the past forty-five years. He now finds more joy in writing than the drawing and music that were his usual creative pursuits in the past. This is good because, as you know, portraying characters and composing scenes require a deep level of focus and detail concentration which is very beneficial for him. He also loves jigsaw puzzling – the 1500-piece variety. Again much concentration is required plus he has fond memory associations of doing puzzles with his mom when he was a boy. He also reads a lot – challenging books, as well as his favorite New York Times articles. He does regular physical exercise and has also begun gardening at our church which has a large planted space in sore need of attention. Medically, he is taking a basic drug that has disappeared his brain fog for the timebeing. We also have excellent medical professionals on our team and on our side.

Dementia is not like the tv commercials portray it to be. Their purpose is to ramp up fear and sell very expensive, very dangerous drugs. There is a long, gradual period before extreme changes begin, and the aggressiveness these ads emphasize can often be mitigated with simple mood medications that are harmless and affordable.

Meanwhile, there is a real-life story to be told here of real-life experience. I hope you will read and share it. Dementia is a reality for many of us and, unfortunately, promises to be a reality for many more. Truth is our best armor against being cast into despair by the prospect. I hope to add a little to that sustaining truth. Dementia is one of the many ways all of us will evolve from this life into whatever may lay beyond. Passing on is our universal destiny. Some of those passages involve discomfort and unpleasantness. We can perhaps be a bit better prepared if we understand realistically what to expect.

That is what our story – Jonathan’s and mine – is meant to do. Help others – in an honest and caring fashion – to be prepared. Love and Blessings. Alice

Hi Irene Peterson. You can always count on me for a boot in the tail. But you know that. It isn’t a harebrained idea to write the scenes you want to write when you want to write them. This is especially effective for anybody who’s going through a writing drought when they’re having trouble getting into the story. The trick is to save each of these scenes separately and identify them when you do with a title that tells you what’s in that scene. Of course if you’re old school like me – you’ll also keep a card file – one card for each scene with jottings on it re: what happens in the scene. I can’t help it. I’m just a belt and suspenders kind of person. In your case you can do that old school thing now. Read through each scene – title it – jot down what happens on a card. Then you’ve got a pack of scene cards to put in the order you want them to happen in the story. If you find a scene that no longer feels like it fits in this story – just file that card away to use in a future book. I started doing the card routine long ago when I was literary agenting as well as writing and needed to remind myself where I was when I returned to my current story from working on client stuff. I’ve kept it up in one form or other ever since. P.S. I prefer 5″X 8″ cards because they hold more info. Like I said – belt and suspenders and maybe a few strips of duct tape too.